walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
