You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
