Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize