2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
