Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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