Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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