it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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