Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
