I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
