you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
