The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
