somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I want to make a zoo with you.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
