well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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