if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
it glows. i had to have it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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