dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
