Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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