Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
