are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I deserve to be covered in dicks
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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