I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize