yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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