marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
