Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
