thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She announced her abortion via fbk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
