I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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