dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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