honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
