Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
