Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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