Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
