I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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