I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
