That's when you crack a 10am beer
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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