The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
