Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
