after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
