I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
