check it out our google latitudes are spooning
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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