I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
