There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
