Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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