Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
