I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
