I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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