she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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