Don't you send me to vm
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
