no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
