I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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