so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize