I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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