Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
