OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize