So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize