ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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