It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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