oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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