just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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