He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
