Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize